1. What do they WANT to do?

Ed Ibarguen, of the Duke University Golf Course, says that one of the best things you can do for your friend is changing their mindset. Rather than hearing them panic about the things they don’t want to do, have them be more positive. Have them think about what they actually want to do.

“Most people have far too many swing thoughts running around in their head; they get confused thinking about what NOT to do,” he says. ” By telling your friend to mentally confirm what they want to do before the swing, then, simply step in and DO IT. They will be surprised how this positive ‘pre-shot’ clarification will help them hit far better shots throughout their round.”

Joe Plecker, of the Landings Club, says maintaining that positivity is key.

“Giving complex swing thoughts when someone is struggling is the opposite of what should happen. To really help someone, start by asking them what they are working on and how it feels. This gives insight into the player’s mindset and physical cues. Once you have this, make suggestions only on the set-up (grip, alignment, posture, ball position) adjusting on their ball flight outcomes — and always stay positive in your feedback.

2. Bring it back to basics

After that, help your friend check up on the boring stuff, like where they’re lined up, says Tour Coach Tony Ruggiero,  and make sure it matches up with what you’re seeing.

“Ask where they are aimed,” he says. “It’s amazing how many golfers have other things go wrong in their swing to compensate for poor aim. Ask where your buddy is trying to hit the ball, what his or her target is. Then confirm that they are aimed there.  Give them feedback.  Help make sure the face and feet are aimed correctly but also their shoulders hips and forearms are all square to the target line.”

Often, something that can help your friend to this easier is practicing a pre-shot routine, says Carol Preisinger of the Landings Club.

“A pre-shot routine with each practice shot is very beneficial, helping someone with grip, posture, and alignment to the target,” she says. Whatever you do, DO NOT say “keep your head down”, “keep your left arm straight” or “slow down your swing”.

3. Clubface is king

Now that they’re in a good mindset, and settled into a better posture, focus their attention to the clubface. If they’re missing right, the clubface is open relative to their target at impact. If they’re missing left, the clubface it’s closed. The clubface is king in golf, so focus on it.

“The single best thing they can do is ask their friend what impact conditions with face, path and contact created that shot,” Brady Riggs of Hualalai Golf Hale says. “No ridiculous theories about why it happened, just the facts about why the ball does what it does.

John Dunigan, of Applebrook Golf Club, agrees.

“Let’s be honest, you really don’t know what you’re talking about, so stick to advice about how your friend is delivering the golf club as an open face or closed face,” he says. “That way you don’t lose friends and you can actually help them.”

Sometimes, as Kellie Stenzel of The Boca Raton Club says, that means helping them learn to play with the shot they do have, rather than fixing it it altogether.

“Suggest they play the miss may be the least damaging,” she says. “If the golfer is slicing have them aim for a slice, eith the goal of reducing the left-to-right curve.”

And if all else fails …

“Offer to buy a them a beer.”